If you visit social networks and parenting forums, you can see that many people are under the impression that the most encouraged parenting style in modern America is the permissive parenting style.
But is that really true?
Is modern American society so lenient when it comes to favoring certain parenting strategies when it comes to raising children?
To help you answer this question, let’s first look at the strategies that parents in modern America use in their daily lives.
What is a parenting style?
Parents across America use different parenting practices and parenting strategies when raising their children. The most common mistake people make is thinking that parenting styles and parenting strategies are interchangeable concepts. They aren’t. A parenting style encompasses different parenting strategies.
However, psychologists and researchers have found that some parents use the same strategies when raising their children. More importantly, parents consistently use these strategies when they need to support, discipline, or educate their children. These clusters of strategies are what we call parenting styles.
As you may have guessed, parenting style has a significant impact on your child. There have been numerous studies in this area. The bottom line is that your parenting style affects your child’s perception of the world, emotional intelligence, self-esteem, and ability to function under authority figures.
Modern parenting styles
After a thorough study of parenting strategies, researchers were able to identify certain patterns of parenting behavior. It seemed that some parents used a particular set of parenting practices over and over again.
The discovery allowed psychologists to identify and define four clusters of parenting strategies, This gives us four types of parenting styles:
FOUR PARENTING STYLES
Authoritarian
Permissive
Uninvolved
Authoritative
Each of these styles encompasses different parenting practices. They stand as a unique approach to raising a child. Fortunately, they are very easy to remember and identify.
Let’s see what they are, shall we?
Authoritarian parenting style
Authoritarian parents are all about the rules. They live by the rules and want to impose the same mindset on their children. The message they send is very clear: “You are a good child if you follow my rules, no questions asked and no exceptions!”
Do you know what phrase these parents say the most? You probably guessed correctly – ” Because I told you to!”or” Because I said so!”As you know, children are quite curious and will often question the reasons behind their parents’ rules.
Authoritarian parents waste no time in explaining. Obedience is a must, and asking questions is a behavior these parents do not want to see in their children. Simply put – there is no room for negotiation.
Authoritarian parents also don’t care about their children’s opinions. They keep their children out of problem-solving situations and expect them to blindly follow the rules.
As you know, some children don’t like strict rules and often cross the imaginary line set by their parents. When they do, authoritarian parents will use punishment to discipline their children. The whole process revolves around children feeling sorry for their mistakes. They do not invest themselves in teaching children how to make smarter and informed choices.
Permissive parenting style
Permissive parents are tolerant parents, but they take tolerance to the extreme, to an extent that makes them seem too lenient. They are not completely uninvolved in their children’s lives, but they will only react or step in when their children get into a real problem. The concept of a” real problem ” differs from one permissive parent to another.
Most permissive parents think that kids have to do what kids do. The rules are not something these parents like. And even if they impose some rules, they will most likely back down after the child begs- A trap we all fall into sometimes, which has consequences.
They trust their children and most of the time allow their children to do anything they want as long as they promise they will behave well.
These parents act like they are their children’s friends rather than parents. They are there to listen to their children, to support them while they overcome challenges. However, if the child misbehaves or makes a terrible choice, a permissive parent will not go out of their way to discourage the child.
Uninvolved parenting style
Uninvolved parents act as if they don’t have children at all. They often don’t know where their kids are, what they are doing, or who they are hanging out with. Uninvolved parents don’t set rules, and if they do, those rules are nothing more than an empty threat, and kids learn that very quickly.
These parents don’t provide much parental attention, care, or guidance. They act as they expect children to be both children and parents, raising themselves. Anyway, children have their basic needs, and these parents consistently fail to meet them. This is simply because they are not authentically and devotedly interested in their children.
Uninvolved parents know very little about the child’s developmental stages and various emotional and physical needs that accompany those stages. They prioritize other ” challenges. “Very often, managing finances and grocery shopping are more important than helping a child overcome a challenge.
Authoritative parenting style
Authoritative parents use different strategies to raise their children. They have clearly defined rules that come with consequences, but unlike authoritative parents, they have time and energy to explain the reasons to their children.
Authoritative parents value their children’s opinions and will often take them into account. They are genuinely supportive. When it comes to emotions, these parents acknowledge their child’s feelings. However, they make sure to communicate to the children that it is the parent’s responsibility. They do it pragmatically and caringly.
These parents are deeply involved in their children’s education. They read papers, blogs, and explore modern ways to help their children become responsible people who are not afraid to communicate their needs assertively.
Thanks to their involvement, authoritative parents can identify behavioral problems early and prevent them from developing into real problems. They also take an active role in disciplining their children. However, they do not use punishment as a discipline strategy. Instead, authoritative parents tend to reinforce positive behavior. They use numerous reward systems to do this.