Parents everywhere seek a close emotional bond with their babies. They also strive to develop a parenting style that works with their values. Some parenting models favor treating children as small adults to be reasoned with. Others take an approach that emphasizes regularity. They all aim to create independent adults who can maintain healthy relationships and have families of their own.
With so much advice on different types of parenting, how do you know what works? Sometimes trial and error works best. Armed with conflicting philosophies, each parent tests different approaches to see what ultimately works for the parents and the children.
Attachment Parenting focuses on the nurturing connection parents can develop with their children. This nurturing connection is seen as the ideal way to raise secure, independent, and empathetic children. Proponents of this parenting philosophy include noted pediatrician William Sears, MD. They make the case that a secure, trusting attachment to parents during childhood forms the foundation for secure relationships and independence as adults.
The eight principles of attachment parenting
Attachment Parenting International (API) is a global educational association for this type of parenting. API identifies eight principles of attachment parenting. Parents have considerable latitude in interpreting and implementing these principles. The eight principles are:
Prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting. Attachment parenting advocates believe it is important to eliminate negative thoughts and feelings about pregnancy. In doing so, they say, a parent prepares for the emotionally demanding work of being a parent.
Feed with love and respect. Breastfeeding, advocates say, is the ideal way to create a secure attachment. It also teaches infants that parents listen to their cues and meet their needs.
Respond with sensitivity. In attachment parenting, parents consider all expressions of emotion, including repeated tantrums, as genuine efforts to communicate. These efforts are to be taken seriously and understood, rather than punished or dismissed.
Use Nurturing Touch. Attachment parenting advocates recommend maximum skin-to-skin touch. Ways to accomplish this include shared baths and” babywearing ” -carrying babies during the day in a forward-facing sling.
Engage in nighttime parenting. Attachment Parenting experts recommend making” co-sleeping ” arrangements. With co-sleeping, a child sleeps in the same room with the parent so they can feed and emotionally soothe the child during the night. Some parents practice “bed-sharing,” or sleeping in the same bed with babies. Note, however, that the American Academy of Pediatrics currently advises against this, as it can increase the risk of sudden infant death syndrome, or SIDS.
Provide constant, loving care. Attachment parenting advocates advise the near-constant presence of a parent. This includes walks, parent-teacher conferences, and work. They advocate more than 20 hours of child care per week for babies younger than 30 months.
Practice positive discipline. Parents are advised to distract, redirect and guide even the youngest babies and model positive behavior. Attachment Parenting aims to understand what communicates a child’s negative behavior. And parents are encouraged to work with a child to find a solution, rather than beating children up or simply imposing their will.
Strive for balance in personal and family life. Parents are encouraged to build a support network, lead a healthy lifestyle, and prevent burnout in parenting.